


that time i joined the fake ah crew

by George_Benji



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Bank Robbery, Crack Fic, F/M, Fake AH Crew, Guns, Kidnapping, M/M, No Smut, Reader-Insert, Stalking, Swearing, enclosed in small space, no pronouns for reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-23 20:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20346625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/George_Benji/pseuds/George_Benji
Summary: I walked into the bank that morning expecting to deposit a check, I ended up withdrawing a friendship.





	that time i joined the fake ah crew

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Voiid_Vagabond (Saturn_the_Almighty)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saturn_the_Almighty/gifts).

> hey um blame @voiid_vagabond for this one kids. she enables me.

I walked into the bank that morning expecting to deposit a check, I ended up withdrawing a friendship.

I was next up to the ATM when the shots rang out. My body dropped to the floor before I really knew what was going on. My heart was pounding and there were two men strolling through the bank, holding the biggest guns I’d ever seen in my life. One man, shorter, with a yellow mask and white cowboy hat, and… well you know the garb, the other a taller man with a long black ponytail and a black skull mask. They were laughing maniacally and shouting at the bank tellers.

“Rimmy, you get the money, I’ll watch the hostages,” the skull-mask guy said. Rimmy responded by firing a shot at a bank teller and yelling something at them. I had seen these guys on the news before. I knew of them well enough to know that the Vagabond was walking in my direction. “On the floor! All of you!” the vagabond fired a few shots into the ceiling and something about the way he moved made me want to introduce myself to him.

He walked by some hostages, taking jewelry from an old woman and a few old men’s watches. He stops at me. I start pulling out my wallet, ready to shell out on the prospect of living.

“Where do you live?” he asks instead of, “Give me all of your money or I’ll kill you.”

“What?” I respond, too confused to process that I probably shouldn’t be asking him questions.

“Your. Address. What is it?”

“Um… I’m sorry, but I don’t usually give strange men with guns my address…”

He shrugs, as if it’s my loss and then he continues down the line of hostages.

The Battle Buddies were running out of the bank four minutes later with duffle bags full of cash. When the police arrived they told everyone to come by the station and report anything about the two that might help in catching them. I decided not to say anything and to head home.

As I walked home, I couldn’t help but feel like someone was following me. 

Every time I checked over my shoulders, nothing was there.

I checked over my shoulders, down the hallways of my apartment building multiple times before unlocking my door. When I opened it, I rushed in and locked the door as if I was being chased.

I couldn’t calm down that evening and ended up passing out on the sofa, watching TV. When I got up the next morning, something felt off in my apartment, and I couldn’t quite place it as I set the blanket I’d slept with back on my bed that I hadn’t put on myself the night before.

Walking to work felt like the same thing. Every once in a while I’d hear a footstep behind me or I’d see a shadow following me, and when I turned around, nothing would be there. At work my manager noted how I seemed a bit off, and I told her about the stick up at the bank, leaving out the part where the Vagabond asked for my home address.

When I exited my work that night, having just forgotten the feeling of being watched from the stressful day, a hand wrapped around my mouth from behind and I was lifted off my feet and tossed into a trunk of a car.

I couldn’t think of much to do, I couldn’t move enough to grab my phone, or punch out a tail-light. I sighed and resigned myself to being kidnapped. 

The car rolled to a stop eventually, the driver’s side door slamming shut and footsteps approaching the trunk. I tried my best to position myself to donkey-kick whomever opened the trunk. When the dark parking garage lights peaked into the trunk, I kicked as hard as I could, sending a taller man staggering back.

“OW!  _ Fuck! _ ” He rubbed at his chest before standing up and glaring at me, now able to tell that he was the Vagabond.

“Hey, what the fuck, you bastard?” I stepped out of the trunk and stood to my full height, still shorter than him, and glowered at him. He was wearing smeared black facepaint and I was able to see features of his quite handsome face.

“What the fuck you, that  _ hurt _ .”

“**No**, what the _fuck_ **you**, you’ve been stalking me and now you _KIDNAPPED ME?!_”

He blushed at that and stammered, “We-Well, no… Not- No you see this is technically abducting. And also it’s not stalking because I didn’t learn anything about your schedule, and I was only in your apartment for line  _ a _ minute at most.”

“Okay, dickhead, yes this is kidnapping, yes that still counts as stalking, and  ** _WHAT?!_ ** ”

“Oh… you didn’t know about that one, huh?” he sucked air in through his teeth. “Well y/n, I just wanted to introduce you to my crew.”

“What? Why?”

“Be… Because you’re you’re very [beautiful/handsome/pretty] and a face like that can’t just sit out here all by itself.”

“Well I’m only here because you kidnapped me, and also you’re not too bad looking yourself.”

His eyes light up at that and my whole heart swells. “Really?!”

“Yeah, I mean I guess…” I test my luck and wink at him.

He winks back.

I test my luck even more and take a step towards him. He takes a step towards me. Next thing I know our arms are around each other and we’re kissing.


End file.
